Hey, Santa, what’s up? Hope the heater’s working within the North Pole and Rudolph noticed the physician for that purple nostril of his.
First off, thanks for placing us on the great record and delivering a lot high quality leisure over the previous 12 months (we’ll forgive you for Kraven the Hunter and the Cruel Intentions reboot as a result of nobody has an ideal batting common).
As we’re on the cusp of a brand new 12 months, new alternatives, we’ve got a couple of sort requests to make of you and your Santa Claus-y powers. It’s not only for us, however for the sake of, effectively, humanity. It’s in no explicit order of desire, so be happy to prioritize the place crucial.
For Netflix: We hope that the advertising and marketing elves get more money to advertise these fantastic films and exhibits that nobody is aware of about till they hit the platform – you realize, just like the Die Hard-esque Carry-On. Additionally, please make the executives promise to cease canceling our favourite packages after one season. Oh, and extra Lindsay Lohan-led Christmas films are at all times welcome.
For Apple TV+: We hope greater than 5 folks join this streaming service, as a result of the standard of programming is next-level good. Severance Season 2 drops in 2025, however that is one platform that doesn’t get the flowers it deserves for its all-killer-no-filler strategy.
For Amazon and Barbara Broccoli: Might they discover peace and settlement on the path for the subsequent James Bond film. And sure, Idris Elba is the best selection, as a result of why not?!
For superhero films: Please allow them to cease making these bizarre Spider-Man-themed films with out Spider-Man. The world has suffered sufficient with Morbius, Madame Internet, and Kraven the Hunter. Additionally, the style wants a break, although James Gunn’s Superman appears delightfully good – however that’s right down to the lovable Krypto the Superdog who’s the star of the teaser trailer.
For Star Wars: Much less is extra; do not forget that. As an alternative of constructing content material for Disney+, make exhibits and films that add one thing particular to the mythos and respect the unique films.
For Disney: Simply cease with all of the live-action variations. All of them suck, so cease. Severely, do us a strong right here, Santa.
For Fits: L.A.: Might this spinoff present be blessed with greater than a single season as a result of if Harvey Specter is already being introduced again for a narrative arc, oh boy…
For Stranger Issues Season 5: Land that finale.
For The Witcher Season 4: Don’t hassle releasing Season 4. No Henry Cavill, no Geralt of Rivia. Certain, we like Liam Hemsworth, however is he Henry? Hell no.
For You: Don’t let Joe Goldberg survive! Actually, Santa, this scumbag must pay for all he’s finished previously few seasons.
For Mission: Not possible – The Ultimate Reckoning: Hopefully, it’s the ultimate reckoning for actual this time. We have now had sufficient of those films and Tom Cruise looking for revolutionary methods to interrupt extra bones; give us a break for a few decade, please.
For Bridget Jones: Mad In regards to the Boy: Please, please, please let this sequel be good.
For Jurassic World Rebirth: Let the dinosaurs win as soon as and for all. Humanity is doomed anyway.
For the Masters of the Universe reboot: Lock Jared Leto in a trailer and don’t enable him to technique act as Skeletor round different actors on set. All of us noticed how Morbius and Suicide Squad turned out, so cease it earlier than he peels off his pores and skin to behave like a skeleton.
For 28 Years Later: We hope this sequel revitalizes the zombie style in any case 7,567 seasons of The Strolling Lifeless and its infinite spinoffs. 28 Days Later and 28 Weeks Later had been each incredible, so there are excessive hopes right here.
For Depraved: For Good: Simply be not less than 80% nearly as good as the primary Depraved.
For Sport of Thrones followers: Let George R. R. Martin discover the calm, persistence, and peace to lastly sit down and write The Winds of Winter. It’s been, what, 25 years since he began it?
For Twilight followers: Isn’t Stephenie Meyer attributable to write one other installment?
For Sydney Sweeney: Might she get the success she deserves and laugh in the face of every internet troll who criticized her.
For Keanu Reeves: Enable him to do no matter he desires. He’s one of many good ones and may be capable of select no matter film or tv present makes him glad. He provides a lot and asks for nothing in return. What a sweetheart!
For theater moviegoers: Let 2025 be the 12 months that folks notice they aren’t alone in film theaters. In different phrases, put down the telephones, cease letting off bodily gases, and behave such as you aren’t in a zoo. Theaters have suffered sufficient in recent times, so let’s discover widespread floor and act like human beings once more, deal?
For leisure lovers around the globe: Might everybody obtain an inflow of high-quality exhibits and movies that transport us to completely different locations and have a optimistic influence on our lives.
Thanks prematurely, Santa.
Yours faithfully,
The Thought Catalog staff
