If you wish to make an upcoming birthday a enjoyable and lighthearted celebration then immediately’s submit will assist you out.
In it I need to share 91 of the wittiest and most humorous birthday quotes about youth, growing old and life.
Use one or a few them in a card, in a textual content or a social media submit on for instance Instagram.
Or just use certainly one of them in your birthday speech to your buddy, sister, brother, coworker or whoever you might be celebrating to make them chuckle and make their big day much more enjoyable.
Humorous Birthday Quotes for Pals (and Your Finest Pal)
Contents
“You’re solely younger as soon as, however you may keep immature indefinitely.”
– Ogden Nash
“I imagine you forgot my birthday current final yr, so now I’m returning the favor. Completely happy Birthday!”
– Unknown
“Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and any person’s drunk within the kitchen.”
– Jim Gaffigan
“You’re not 40, you’re 18 with 22 years expertise.”
– Unknown
“Trying fifty is nice – when you’re sixty.”
– Joan Rivers
“Inside each older particular person is a youthful particular person – questioning what the hell occurred.”
– Jennifer Yane
“Life is a reasonably good play with a badly written third act.”
– Truman Capote
“The older you get, the higher you get. Until you’re a banana.”
– Betty White
“The key of staying younger is to stay actually, eat slowly, and lie about your age.”
– Lucille Ball
“Age is strictly a case of thoughts over matter. In the event you don’t thoughts, it doesn’t matter.”
– Jack Benny
“Birthdays are nature’s means of telling us to eat extra cake.”
– Unknown
“A buddy by no means defends a husband who will get his spouse an electrical skillet for her birthday.”
– Erma Bombeck
“Age shouldn’t be essential except you’re a cheese.”
– Helen Hayes
“I’m at an age when my again goes out greater than I do.”
– Phyllis Diller
“I imagine in loyalty. When a lady reaches an age she likes, she ought to keep it up.”
– Eva Gabor
“My grandmother began strolling 5 miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know the place the hell she is.”
– Ellen DeGeneres
“Finally you attain a degree whenever you cease mendacity about your age and begin bragging about it.”
– Will Rogers
“The primary hundred years are the toughest.”
– Wilson Mizner
“When a person has a birthday, he takes a day without work. However when my spouse has a birthday, she takes a yr or two off.”
– Joan Rivers
“From beginning to age 18, a lady wants good mother and father. From 18 to 35, she wants beauty. From 35 to 55, she wants a superb character. From 55 on, she wants good money.”
– Sophie Tucker
Brief and Humorous Birthday Quotes on Getting Older
“You recognize you’re getting outdated when the candles value greater than the cake.”
– Bob Hope
“Age is a matter of thoughts over matter. In the event you don’t thoughts, it doesn’t matter.”
– Mark Twain
“You’re in mint situation for a classic mannequin. Completely happy Birthday!”
– Catherine Pulsifer
“Outdated age is like the whole lot else. To make successful of it, you’ve obtained to begin younger.”
– Fred Astaire
“Don’t fear about avoiding temptation. As you get older, it’ll keep away from you.”
– Joey Adams
“A diplomat is a person who all the time remembers a lady’s birthday however by no means remembers her age.”
– Robert Frost
“I’ll by no means be an outdated man. To me, outdated age is all the time 15 years older than I’m.”
– Francis Bacon
“Simply keep in mind, when you’re over the hill you start to select up velocity.”
– Arthur Schopenhauer
“I used to be introduced as much as respect my elders, so now I don’t should respect anyone.”
– George Burns
“There’s nonetheless no treatment for the widespread birthday.”
– John Glenn
“You recognize you’ve aged whenever you learn occasions you lived in a historical past e book.”
– Will Ferrell
“Age is a quantity and mine is unlisted.”
– Unknown
“Rising outdated is necessary; rising up is elective.”
– Chili Davis
“You recognize you’re getting outdated whenever you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See when you can blow this out.’”
– Jerry Seinfeld
“Center age is whenever you nonetheless imagine you’ll really feel higher within the morning.”
– Bob Hope
“As you become older, three issues occur. The primary is your reminiscence goes, and I can’t keep in mind the opposite two.”
– Norman Knowledge
“You recognize you’re getting outdated when the whole lot hurts. And what doesn’t damage doesn’t work.”
– Hy Gardner
“You’re solely younger as soon as, however you could be immature for a lifetime.”
– John Grier
“All the pieces that goes up should come down. However there comes a time when not the whole lot that’s down can come up.”
– George Burns
“We don’t develop outdated. Once we stop to develop, we develop into outdated.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
Humorous Birthday Quotes for Girls on Getting old Gracefully
“Like many ladies my age, I’m 28 years outdated.”
– Mary Schmich
“Please don’t retouch my wrinkles. It took me so many birthdays to earn them.”
– Anna Magnani
“I don’t want you to remind me of my age. I’ve a bladder to do this for me.”
– Stephen Fry
“At all times be good to your youngsters as a result of they’re those who will select your relaxation house.”
– Phyllis Diller
“I don’t plan to develop outdated gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts till my ears meet.”
– Rita Rudner
“You recognize you’ve reached center age whenever you’re cautioned to decelerate by your physician, as an alternative of by the police.”
– Joan Rivers
“A very good rule to recollect for all times is that with regards to cosmetic surgery and sushi, by no means be attracted by a cut price.”
– Graham Norton
“Folks say, ‘The way you keep trying so younger?’ I say, effectively, good lighting, good medical doctors, and good make-up.”
– Dolly Parton
“My face carries all my reminiscences. Why would I erase them?”
– Diane von Furstenberg
“Getting old appears to be the one obtainable method to stay a protracted life.”
– Kitty O’Neill Collins
“I’ve obtained so many wrinkles; I ought to be sponsored by a prune firm!”
– Unknown
“Wrinkles ought to merely point out the place the grins have been.”
– Mark Twain
“Pay attention. I want I might let you know it will get higher. However, it doesn’t get higher. You get higher.”
– Joan Rivers
“Getting old gracefully means being versatile, being open, permitting change, having fun with change, and loving your self.”
– Wendy Whelan
Humorous Birthday Quotes for Males on the Inevitable Adjustments in Life
“A stockbroker urged me to purchase a inventory that might triple its worth yearly. I advised him, ‘At my age, I don’t even purchase inexperienced bananas.’”
– Claude Pepper
“A person has reached center age when he’s warned to decelerate by his physician as an alternative of the police.”
– Henry Youngman
“After I was a boy the Useless Sea was solely sick.”
– George Burns
“Center age is when your broad thoughts and slim waist start to alter locations.”
– E. Joseph Cossman
“You’re solely as outdated as the girl you’re feeling.”
– Groucho Marx
“Anybody could be assured with a full head of hair. However a assured bald man – there’s your diamond within the tough.”
– Larry David
“In center age, the soul ought to be opening up like a rose, not closing up like a cabbage.”
– John Andrew Holmes
“Center age is the awkward interval when Father Time begins catching up with Mom Nature.”
– Harold Coffin
“I’m more than happy to be right here. Let’s face it, at my age, I’m more than happy to be wherever.”
– George Burns
“Center age is whenever you’re confronted with two temptations and also you select the one that can get you house by 9 o’clock.”
– Ronald Reagan
“I imply, I’m not a child anymore. I might go tomorrow. And I hope I am going tomorrow. I haven’t gone immediately but.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
“Life’s a brief journey. You’ll discover out.”
– Rodney Dangerfield
“I’ve been in remedy. I do know sufficient about myself now to know that I actually don’t must know anymore.”
– Larry David
“Center age is whenever you’ve met so many individuals that each new particular person you meet reminds you of another person.”
– Ogden Nash
“The one method to hold your well being is to eat what you don’t need, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d somewhat not.”
– Mark Twain
“Completely happy Birthday to a [Mom/Dad] who’s sensible, humorous, and handsome, from a [daughter/son] who inherited all of your finest qualities.”
– Good/Good Youngster
“Outdated age is whenever you resent the swimsuit subject of Sports activities Illustrated as a result of there are fewer articles to learn.”
– George Burns
“I’m sixty years of age. That’s 16 Celsius.”
– George Carlin
Humorous Birthday Quotes for Coworkers
“Why is a birthday cake the one meals you may blow on and spit on, and everyone rushes to get a bit?”
– Bobby Kelton
“Yearly on my birthday, I begin a brand new playlist titled after my present age so I can hold observe of my favourite songs of the yr as a form of musical diary as a result of I’m a teenage lady.”
– Chris Hardwick
“Because of trendy medical advances reminiscent of antibiotics, nasal spray, and Weight-reduction plan Coke, it has develop into routine for folks within the civilized world to move the age of 40, generally greater than as soon as.”
– Dave Barry
“True terror is to get up one morning and uncover that your highschool class is working the nation.”
– Kurt Vonnegut
“The purpose of life is to take the whole lot that made you bizarre as a child and get folks to pay you cash for it whenever you’re older.”
– David Freeman
“You recognize you’re getting outdated when all of the names in your black e book have M.D. after them.”
– Harrison Ford
“We might definitely gradual the growing old course of down if it needed to work its means by way of Congress.”
– Will Rogers
“At my age, flowers scare me.”
– George Burns
“Combating growing old is just like the Struggle on Medicine. It’s costly, does extra hurt than good, and has been confirmed to by no means finish.”
– Amy Poehler
“The growing old course of shouldn’t be gradual or light. It rushes up, pushes you over, and runs off laughing.”
– John Mortimer
“I used to be interested by how folks appear to learn the Bible much more as they become older, after which it dawned on me – they’re cramming for his or her last examination.”
– George Carlin
“Outdated age comes at a nasty time.”
– San Banducci
“Don’t let growing old get you down. It’s too exhausting to get again up.”
– John Wagner
“Center age is whenever you’re sitting at house on a Saturday evening and the phone rings, and also you hope it isn’t for you.”
– George Burns
“We don’t cease taking part in as a result of we develop outdated. We develop outdated as a result of we cease taking part in.”
– George Bernard Shaw
“If I’d recognized I used to be going to stay this lengthy, I’d have taken higher care of myself.”
– Eubie Blake
“I’ve too many wrinkles to have this little cash!”
– Cathy Guisewite
“You recognize you’re getting outdated whenever you stoop to tie your shoelaces and marvel what else you are able to do when you’re down there.”
– George Burns
“It’s true, some wine improves with age. However provided that the grapes had been good within the first place.”
– Abigail Van Buren
Need extra inspiration for celebrations arising quickly? Then try these inspirational birthday quotes, the short birthday quotes on this submit and the inspirational wedding quotes right here. Plus, this one with short wedding quotes.
