100 Funny Wedding Quotes That Will Make Everyone at the Celebration Laugh

On the lookout for a humorous saying in your wedding ceremony speech, toast or card?

One thing that may make the glad couple and everybody else giggle out loud?

Then in the present day’s submit is simply what you want. In it I wish to share 100 of the wittiest and finest humorous wedding ceremony quotes.

Use one or a few them for one of many three issues talked about above or for social media posts, group chats or texts to make this celebration of affection a enjoyable and lighthearted one.

Humorous Wedding ceremony Quotes That Will Make You and Everybody on the Celebration Chuckle

“The perfect factor you are able to do is use an individual who loves you for precisely who you’re: good temper, dangerous temper, ugly, fairly, good-looking, what have you ever. The correct individual remains to be going to assume the solar shines out of your ass. That’s the sort of person who’s value sticking with.”
– Juno

“I like being married. It’s so nice to seek out that one particular individual you wish to annoy for the remainder of your life.”
– Rita Rudner

“Getting married is like buying and selling the adoration of many for the sarcasm of 1.”
– Mae West

“The primary draft of my vows, which I wrote the day after we acquired engaged, clocked in at round 70 pages.”
– Lelsli Knope (from the TV-show Parks and Recreation)

“I’m married to a really uncommon individual, however possibly it took a really uncommon individual to be keen to marry me.”
– Fiona Shaw

“Keep in mind, we’re head over heels in love, so it’s alright to kiss me anytime you are feeling prefer it.”
– Suzanne Collins, The Starvation Video games

“She’s your lobster. C’mon you guys. It’s a recognized indisputable fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for all times. You possibly can really see previous lobster {couples}, strolling round their tank, you realize, holding claws.”
– Phoebe Buffay (from the TV-show Associates)

“My spouse had us register for superb china, since you by no means know when the Pope goes to swing by and need a microwaved sizzling canine on a $200 plate.”
– Jim Gaffigan

“Some folks ask the key of our lengthy marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two instances every week. A bit candlelight, dinner, comfortable music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I am going Fridays.”
– Henny Youngman

“Marriage is an alliance entered into by a person who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a girl who can’t sleep with the window open.”
– George Bernard Shaw

“You realize your voice is sort of good when your mouth isn’t screwing it up. Yeah and also you seems to be are sort of fairly. When your face isn’t screwing it up.”
– The Goonies

“I like that you just get chilly when it’s 71 levels out. I like that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I like that you just get a little bit crinkle above your nostril if you’re taking a look at me like I’m nuts. I like that after I spend the day with you, I can nonetheless odor your fragrance on my garments. And I like that you’re the final individual I wish to discuss to earlier than I fall asleep at evening.”
– When Harry Met Sally

“Webster’s Dictionary defines wedding ceremony as ‘the fusing of two metals with a sizzling torch.’ Effectively, you realize one thing? I believe you guys are two medals. Gold medals.”
– Michale Scott, (from the TV-show The Workplace)

“A wedding is at all times made up of two people who find themselves ready to swear that solely the opposite one snores.”
– Terry Pratchett

“We’re all a little bit bizarre. And life is a little bit bizarre. And once we discover somebody whose weirdness is suitable with ours, we be part of up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness – and name it love – real love.”
– Robert Fulghum

Humorous Wedding ceremony Quotes and Sayings for a Speech, Toast or Card

“Love is a perfect factor, marriage an actual factor.”
– Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“I married for love however the apparent aspect profit of getting somebody round to seek out my glasses can’t be ignored.”
– Cameron Esposito

“Marriage is a bond between an individual who by no means remembers anniversaries and one other who by no means forgets them.”
– Ogden Nash

“A cheerful marriage is a protracted dialog which at all times appears too quick.”
– André Maurois

“The difficulty with some girls is that they get all enthusiastic about nothing – after which marry him.”
– Cher

“There are 100 paths via the world which can be simpler than loving. However who needs simpler?”
– Mary Oliver

“The key to a very good marriage is to be a little bit deaf.”
– Ruth Bader Ginsburg

“My most sensible achievement was my means to have the ability to persuade my spouse to marry me.”
– Winston Churchill

“Maintain your eyes broad open earlier than marriage, half shut afterwards.”
– Benjamin Franklin

“Love is blind; marriage is the eye-opener.”
– Pauline Thomason

“Who gained in life? Me. As a result of I acquired to marry you.”
– Chip Gaines

“However the factor is that this, after some time, you simply wish to be with the one which makes you giggle.”
– Intercourse and the Metropolis

“I’m not a sensible man, however I do know what love is.”
– Forrest Gump

“Marriage is sort of a tense, unfunny, model of Everyone Loves Raymond, solely it doesn’t final 22 minutes. It lasts eternally.”
– Pete (from the film Knocked Up)

“A marriage marks the primary day of the remainder of your life. You will have been lifeless till now. Have been you conscious of that? You’re lifeless proper now.”
– Bride Wars

“In the event you’re pondering of getting married, you would possibly as properly study proper now that you need to let girls be girls.”
– Hiya, Dolly!

“I can’t make you like me, however I can fill my pantry along with your favourite snacks and give you a weekly stipend of $75.”
– Rob Delaney

“Michelle’s like Beyoncé in that tune, ‘Let me improve ya!’ She upgraded me.”
– Barack Obama

“In the event you can keep in love for greater than two years, you’re on one thing.”
– Fran Lebowitz

“Be sure to have date evening even when it’s as soon as in a blue moon as a result of more often than not you’re simply too drained and also you’d really favor to sleep.”
– Chris Hemsworth

“Clearly, if I used to be critical about having a relationship with somebody long-term, the final folks I’d introduce him to could be my household.”
– Chelsea Handler

Humorous Wedding ceremony Quotes for Associates

“To maintain your marriage brimming, with love within the loving cup, everytime you’re flawed, admit it; everytime you’re proper, shut up.”
– Ogden Nash

“For marriage to be successful, each lady and each man ought to have her and his personal lavatory. The tip.”
– Catherine Zeta-Jones

“Love is a two-way avenue continually beneath building.”
– Carroll Bryant

“By all means, marry. In the event you get a very good spouse, you’ll change into glad; in case you get a foul one, you’ll change into a thinker.”
– Socrates

“It’s a humorous factor that when a person hasn’t something on earth to fret about, he goes off and will get married.”
– Robert Frost

“Marriage is an excellent invention: then once more, so is a bicycle restore equipment.”
– Billy Connolly

“Look, you wish to know what marriage is actually like? Effective. You get up, she’s there. You come again from work, she’s there. You go to sleep, she’s there. You eat dinner, she’s there. You realize? I imply, I do know that appears like a foul factor, nevertheless it’s not.”
– Robert (from the TV-show Everyone Loves Raymond)

“Marriage isn’t just religious communion. Additionally it is remembering to take out the trash.”
– Dr. Joyce Brothers

“A profitable marriage requires falling in love many instances – at all times with the identical individual.”
– Mignon McLaughlin

“One of the simplest ways to get most husbands to do one thing is to counsel that maybe they’re too previous to do it.”
– Anne Bancroft

“Spend a couple of minutes a day actually listening to your partner. Irrespective of how silly their issues sound to you.”
– Megan Mullally

“Earlier than you marry an individual, it is best to first make them use a pc with sluggish web to see who they are surely.”
– Will Ferrell

“Marriage is sort of a graph: It has its ups and downs and so long as issues bounce again up once more, you’ve acquired a very good marriage. If it heads straight down, then you definitely’ve acquired some issues!”
– Julie Andrews

“Love is rather a lot like a backache; it doesn’t present up on X-rays, however you realize it’s there.”
– George Burns

“I wish to hear that you just guys watch each episode of The Bachelorette collectively in secret disgrace, or that one acquired the opposite hooked on Breaking Dangerous and if both watches it with out the opposite, they’re lifeless meat. I wish to see you guys high-five one another like teammates on a leisure softball workforce you each do for enjoyable.”
– Mindy Kaling

“Whenever you love somebody as a lot as I like you, getting married is the one factor left to do. So, will you, um, marry me?”
– April (from the film Undoubtedly, Perhaps)

“In the event you’re ever with a woman that’s too good for you, marry her.”
– Reed Bennett (from the film Valentine’s Day)

“ buddy simply informed me that the important thing to a profitable marriage was to argue bare.”
– LeAnn Rimes

“ spouse at all times forgives her husband when she’s flawed.”
– Milton Berle

“Simply came upon the spouse is writing a e book about our honeymoon referred to as 50 Shades of Simply OK.”
– Conan O’Brien

“Handle him. And make him really feel necessary. And if you are able to do that, you’ll have a cheerful and fantastic marriage. Like two out of each ten {couples}.”
– Neil Simon

“You realize there’s a identify for people who find themselves at all times flawed about every little thing on a regular basis… Husband!”
– Invoice Maher

“I’m so conflicted when my husband does the laundry. On one hand, he did the laundry. On the opposite, my garments can now be bought at Hole Youngsters.”
– Molly McNearney

Quick and Humorous Wedding ceremony Quotes

“The key of a cheerful marriage stays a secret.”
– Henny Youngman

“ marriage could be between a blind spouse and a deaf husband.”
– Michel de Montaigne

“Marriage has no ensures. If that’s what you’re searching for, go stay with a automobile battery.”
– Erma Bombeck

“Marriage is an try to unravel issues collectively which you didn’t even have if you had been by yourself.”
– Eddie Cantor

“If you wish to examine love and marriage, you’ve acquired to purchase two separate books.”
– Alan King

“When a person opens a automobile door for his spouse, it’s both a brand new automobile or a brand new spouse.”
– Prince Philip

“I believe anyone who falls in love is a freak. It’s a loopy factor to do. It’s sort of like a type of socially acceptable madness.”
– Amy (from the film Her)

“An archeologist is the most effective husband a girl can have. The older she will get, the extra he’s in her.”
– Agatha Christie

“I usually ponder whether women and men actually go well with one another. Maybe they need to stay subsequent door and simply go to at times.”
– Katharine Hepburn

“I’m a really dedicated spouse. And I needs to be dedicated, too – for being married so many instances.”
– Elizabeth Taylor

“Whenever you first get married, they open the automobile door for you. Eighteen years now…as soon as he opened the automobile door for me within the final 4 years – we had been on the freeway on the time.”
– Joan Rivers

“I’ve discovered that solely two issues are essential to maintain one’s spouse glad. First, let her assume she’s having her personal means. And second, let her have it.”
– Lyndon B. Johnson

“‘I’m’ is supposedly the shortest sentence within the English language. May it’s that ‘I do’ is the longest sentence?”
– George Carlin

“I requested my dad as soon as, ‘How did you and Mum keep married for 33 years?’ And he mentioned, ‘Effectively, we by no means wished to get divorced on the identical time.’”
– Gwyneth Paltrow

“They are saying all marriages are made in heaven, however so are thunder and lightning.”
– Clint Eastwood

“Truthfully, in case you’re not keen to sound silly, you don’t should be in love.”
– Emily (from the film A Lot Like Love)

“I like you. That’s why I make you depressing.”
– Carmen (from the film Actual Girls Have Curves)

“We acquired married: society’s resolution to loneliness, lust and laundry.”
– Luke Rhinehart

“I’m searching for somebody to share in an journey that I’m arranging, and it’s very troublesome to seek out anybody.”
– J.R.R. Tolkien (from the e book The Hobbit)

“All males make errors, however married males discover out about them sooner.”
– Crimson Skelton

“Marriage is figure. Marriage is a profession. It’s not an journey, you do extra earlier than 5 than most people do all day.”
– Sinbad

“There’s just one approach to have a cheerful marriage and as quickly as I study what it’s I’ll get married once more.”
– Clint Eastwood

“Husbands are like fires. They exit when unattended.”
– Zsa Zsa Gabor

“In each good marriage, it pays generally to be a little bit deaf.”
– Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Humorous Anniversary Quotes on a Comfortable and Sturdy Marriage

“The primary time you marry for love, the second for cash, and the third for companionship.”
– Jackie Kennedy

“Spend a couple of minutes a day actually listening to your partner. Irrespective of how silly his issues sound to you.”
– Unknown

“Males who’ve a pierced ear are higher ready for marriage – they’ve skilled ache and acquired jewellery.”
– Rita Rudner

“All the time get married within the morning. That means if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted the entire day.”
– Mickey Rooney

“My spouse Mary and I’ve been married for forty-seven years and never as soon as have we had an argument critical sufficient to contemplate divorce; homicide, sure, however divorce, by no means.”
– Jack Benny

“Marriage is nice for many who are afraid to sleep alone at evening.”
– St. Jerome

“Most of a husband’s life is spent in doing analysis on his spouse.”
– Pawan Mishra

“The person who says his spouse can’t take a joke, forgets that she took him.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Solely married folks perceive you will be depressing and glad on the identical time.”
– Chris Rock

“Marriage is actually powerful as a result of you need to take care of emotions… and legal professionals.”
– Richard Pryor

“A person is already midway in love with any lady who listens to him.”
– Brendan Behan

“In each marriage greater than every week previous, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to seek out, and proceed to seek out, grounds for marriage.”
– Robert Anderson

“Husband secretly lowers the thermostat and I secretly flip it again up. We each vehemently deny touching it. Marriage is enjoyable.”
– Stephanie Ortiz

“Gravitation just isn’t liable for folks falling in love.”
– Albert Einstein

“Marriage is about the costliest means for the typical man to get laundry completed.”
– Burt Reynolds

“Behind each nice man is a girl rolling her eyes.”
– Jim Carrey

“Marry a person your personal age; as your magnificence fades, so will his eyesight.”
– Phyllis Diller

Need extra inspiration for wedding ceremony speeches, toasts and playing cards? Then take a look at these short wedding quotes, the inspirational wedding quotes right here and in addition this one with funny love quotes.